


We Need To Talk

by Dain



Series: Femslash February 2019 [10]
Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Crushes, F/F, Gen, Mekanix - Freeform, Questioning, it's been actual years since I read Mekanix so I have no clue if this is canon compliant or not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 00:15:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17735363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dain/pseuds/Dain
Summary: Xi’an can feel her heart beating in her throat, her chest, her fingers, pulsing desperately against her skin as if it’s trying to remind her that this is a really, really bad idea.





	We Need To Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Day 10: Waiting

“Hey, Kitty?” Xi’an can feel her heart beating in her throat, her chest, her fingers, pulsing desperately against her skin as if it’s trying to remind her that this is a really, really bad idea. Which she knows, but she’s so tired of not talking about it. She wants to get it out in the open so it can stop eating at her from the inside out.

“Oh, hey, Shan!” Kitty says from where she’s putting laundry away. “Come on in!”

Which means that Xi’an has to stop loitering in Kitty’s doorway and actually approach her. She reminds herself that Kitty is a friend and she trusts her and even if this all goes south Kitty will still want to be friends. She knows all of that, but it doesn’t help her calm down.

“Are you okay?” Kitty asks, frowning at her.

“So we almost kissed last week,” Xi’an blurts out, which is definitely not the opener that she’s been practicing in her head for the last few days.

Kitty’s face freezes and oh, shit, that’s not a good sign. “What?”

“Was that just me?” Xi’an asks. “Did you feel like we almost kissed during that fight, too, or was I imagining things? Because…I don’t want to pretend that didn’t happen, but if it _actually_ didn’t happen…”

“I…” Kitty looks like she’s at a loss, and yep, Xi’an knew this was a bad idea. Why is she going through with it, again? “I don’t…know.”

Oh.

Oh?

“You don’t know…what?” Xi’an asks. She can feel herself calming down. Kitty doesn’t seem mad or upset or even uncomfortable, really, or at least not with Xi’an - she just seems confused. Which is not a worst-case scenario, so that’s good.

Kitty isn’t looking at her. “I don’t…know…if I like you like that,” she says. “Or…if I like girls. At all. Like that.”

_Oh._

Xi’an anxiety has mellowed enough to leave plenty of room for guilt. She’s been assuming that Kitty is either into girls or she isn’t - if she’d known that Kitty was currently trying to figure that out, she would have approached this conversation differently. She remembers being there, remembers how shitty it was, how she’d doubted everything about her own feelings and how confusing and upsetting that could be. If that’s how Kitty’s feeling now…

“I didn’t realize you’ve been thinking about that,” Xi’an tries.

“Not for very long,” Kitty says, still not looking at her. “I just - I don’t think - sorry. I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay,” Xi’an says. “Don’t worry about it. Trust me, I get it.” Oh, does she ever. “But if you ever do have something you want to say…regardless of any possible almost-kisses…you can talk to me, okay? I know it’s scary, but I’m here to help if you need it.”

“Yeah,” Kitty says, finally looking up at Xi’an. She’s smiling a little, but it’s strained. “Just for the record, we totally almost kissed.”

“Just my magnetic personality,” Xi’an says, though she’s not feeling especially charming at the moment.

“I guess Kitty says. “And, uh, thank you. For the offer to talk? Not right now, but. Maybe later.”

“Of course,” Xi’an says. “You know where to find me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come say hi on [Tumblr](https://ndscottsummers.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
